Talking about Difference with Young Children

I just came across this post for the second time (it was originally published on a website last fall, and the author has just re-visited it on her blog.

Talking to Kids about Disability on What Do You Do, Dear?

[If you like to find new blogs and go back and read them from the beginning, I suggest you get some time and Kleenex and do so with this one. I just think she writes with the most wonderful voice.]

If you're here because you have young children, or you know young children, or you are a human, I think you should read this. It is written from her perspective as the mother of a child with spina bifida, but it is about all of us. It's about how we talk about abilities and difference, and how we talk to our children about those things, and the messages it sends when we don't talk about them well or--worse--don't even talk about them at all. Plus a Harry Potter reference.

I found myself thinking about this exact issue lately, and then this post popped up in front of me--funny how that happens, right? Like the universe knew I needed to read it again. C is still too young to stare or ask questions about differences, but I did see him look a little longer at a person using a wheelchair in Target this week, and then again at the mall yesterday. It made me self-check my own behavior, think about this, and consider what I will say when he asks questions. I know he will, because he is curious and observant and empathetic. I have worked with enough families and children in the special needs community to know I want to be thoughtful about his questions, but I hope I have enough grace in the moment(s) to speak out loud the way I've rehearsed in my head (somehow...I never do...).

How do you strike the balance between sensitive and factual? How are you thoughtful without pitying? How can we talk about difference without somehow implying that different is always bad? 

One of the things I love about this post is that, in addition to her own feelings and experience, she also provides some concrete phrases and scripts. Of course, she doesn't claim that she encompasses everyone's experience or is a voice for all, but I think this is a very solid roadmap.

Talking to Kids about Disability (with links to more posts at the end, including one from Mr. Rogers--one of my first loves)

Have you ever been in a situation like this, or with a child? What do those of you who work with children have to add to this?