At long last, we think we have a name for this poor child. There wasn't really any disagreement or consternation, but it was hard to just go ahead and pull the trigger. Naming a baby in real life isn't really like you imagine it to be in your head...when it's for real, it feels pretty permanent. Because it is. We started out by narrowing it down to a short list and have been sitting on the final name for a while, but finally decided we just needed to shake hands or high five or whatever makes it official.
Before the big reveal (which is after the jump)...I have spent some time thinking about the public/private balance that comes with having a blog, and my general feelings are this: individuals should get to choose and be in control of how "Googleable" they are, to whatever extent possible--and also other safety and privacy issues but mostly that. Babies don't yet have the power to make those choices. So here, I'll refer to him by his initial (less typing for me, anyway). And you have probably already noticed that I don't use our last name. Later on, I guess, we'll have those discussions about when you get to have a Facebook page and not putting stupid pictures on the internet. But let's get born first.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Friday, November 30, 2012
28 Weeks
How Far Along: 28 weeks, which--according to my doctor--begins the third trimester. That's about 7 months, because I know normal people do not measure things in weeks.
Total Weight Gain: I have not been able to get what I think is a good reading. There are so many variables: time of day, random swelling, etc. It can fluctuate by a LOT. So I really have no idea and am just counting on the doctor to tell me if she thinks it's getting out of control. At this point I think all I will be able to do is wait until a "final" weight and then be able to tell you how much I gained in total. And how I'm going to lose it (scary). Let's just say that my self-assessment tells me that some people gain less than I have and some people gain a lot more.
Size of Baby: Baby is about 2 1/4 lbs (I would guess Boomer is a bit bigger, as he was already 2.1 a few weeks ago and seems to be hanging out at the upper end of the range). This is "the size of a Chinese cabbage" (I give up).
He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. I hope they are fancy and beautiful lashes. His eyes have some color, but final pigmentation requires exposure to light. His final eye color may not be apparent until months after birth (side eye BA). He's developing millions of neurons in his brain (note to self: do more intellectual things) and adding more body fat in preparation for life on the outside.
He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. I hope they are fancy and beautiful lashes. His eyes have some color, but final pigmentation requires exposure to light. His final eye color may not be apparent until months after birth (side eye BA). He's developing millions of neurons in his brain (note to self: do more intellectual things) and adding more body fat in preparation for life on the outside.
Maternity Clothes: same. Hope you like my Uggs.
Movement: He has a discernible schedule at this point, which is kind of funny and kind of a pain (most notably the 11pm dance party). Other jam sessions take place around 8am, 11am, and 3pm. Movement is now more center, and last night he had the hiccups. I felt them low center rather than higher right, where I had been feeling a lot. I am wondering if this means he has moved and possibly turned, which would be an excellent development. If not, that's ok--there's still time (I keep telling myself)--but I've got an eye on it.
Sleep: The wheels are coming off the sleep train. Rapidly. The less said about this the better.
What I miss: The bladder freedom of the carefree second trimester. He's got his feet in that territory, I believe (or did until yesterday), and...yikes.
Cravings: I'm still kind of fixated on that turkey sandwich. A rotisserie chicken was purchased and has been an acceptable stand-in. Apples. Doughnuts. All the food in the world ever. Last night for dinner I had pineapple, grapes, and an apple.
Other crazy symptoms: Pretty much the same suite of super-attractive issues. They all come and go, so it's manageable.
I also have some aching/tingling in my right arm and hand that a quick Google search (BAD) suggests is either a pinched nerve from sleeping weird (possible) or carpal tunnel syndrome caused by swelling (could I be more of a bunk-ass broken-down old lady)? It's not painful but is definitely not a welcome addition to the final hours of the dissertation-submission countdown. I think I should take a break from sitting at the computer.
I don't know if this is a pregnancy thing or I've just had some culinary misadventures, but I am really sensitive to food seeming over-salted. I do not want any of that. Probably because it makes me swell up. So, basically, things taste wrong.
I also have some aching/tingling in my right arm and hand that a quick Google search (BAD) suggests is either a pinched nerve from sleeping weird (possible) or carpal tunnel syndrome caused by swelling (could I be more of a bunk-ass broken-down old lady)? It's not painful but is definitely not a welcome addition to the final hours of the dissertation-submission countdown. I think I should take a break from sitting at the computer.
I don't know if this is a pregnancy thing or I've just had some culinary misadventures, but I am really sensitive to food seeming over-salted. I do not want any of that. Probably because it makes me swell up. So, basically, things taste wrong.
I will say that I was especially proud that Madigan and Abita were named Friday's Dogs of the Day at Camp Bow Wow...we'd been gunning for it for a while. It probably helped that BA asked if they accept bribes, but I like to think that they were selected on their own merit.
Beast and Creature wish you a happy weekend. xo
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
How We Can Help
Thank you to all of those who have sent kind thoughts to Hillary via me or on your own. I would imagine that the sadness, confusion, and anger that I have experienced is only a fraction of their own emotional journey. Physically, she is doing about as well as can be expected, and I know everyone is grateful for that.
One of the most natural human responses to the loss or grief of others is to ask what we can do to help. As I've written before, I think it's an unfortunate truth that there is nothing that anyone can do that meaningfully reduces the sadness of another person. That's just not the way grief works. It's a tricky animal. However, there are often small gestures we can make in an offer to lighten the load for another, or to try and bring good out of darkness.
In the event that you feel you'd like to do something for them, I am passing along some information from the family that I received this morning (paraphrased).
First, Hillary and Chip are appreciative of all the kind words, prayers, and messages they have received over the past few days. I think that sometimes the best and most supportive thing we can do is to let people know we are thinking of them. Even if you don't know them personally, I think that there's some sort of karmic value in sending helpful thoughts up to the universe or something, or even just pausing to reflect on what loss can show us about our own lives.
Second, they have set up a website to support the Twin-to-Twin Transfusion syndrome (TTTS) Foundation. This site helps foster a community of people who have been affected by TTTS and provides educational, emotional, and financial support to families and medical professionals. I know this community's support was helpful to them throughout their journey, and I imagine it will continue to be of use to them as they move forward. They have asked that those who would like to do something on their behalf consider making a gift to the foundation.
If you would like to make a donation, you can do so by clicking this link to go to their page.
They express that any gift, however small, is appreciated, and that they are thankful for your well wishes.
One of the most natural human responses to the loss or grief of others is to ask what we can do to help. As I've written before, I think it's an unfortunate truth that there is nothing that anyone can do that meaningfully reduces the sadness of another person. That's just not the way grief works. It's a tricky animal. However, there are often small gestures we can make in an offer to lighten the load for another, or to try and bring good out of darkness.
In the event that you feel you'd like to do something for them, I am passing along some information from the family that I received this morning (paraphrased).
First, Hillary and Chip are appreciative of all the kind words, prayers, and messages they have received over the past few days. I think that sometimes the best and most supportive thing we can do is to let people know we are thinking of them. Even if you don't know them personally, I think that there's some sort of karmic value in sending helpful thoughts up to the universe or something, or even just pausing to reflect on what loss can show us about our own lives.
Second, they have set up a website to support the Twin-to-Twin Transfusion syndrome (TTTS) Foundation. This site helps foster a community of people who have been affected by TTTS and provides educational, emotional, and financial support to families and medical professionals. I know this community's support was helpful to them throughout their journey, and I imagine it will continue to be of use to them as they move forward. They have asked that those who would like to do something on their behalf consider making a gift to the foundation.
If you would like to make a donation, you can do so by clicking this link to go to their page.
They express that any gift, however small, is appreciated, and that they are thankful for your well wishes.
Monday, November 26, 2012
With a Heavy Heart
Previous updates can be seen here.
Friends,
We received an email from Hillary's brother-in-law with sad news yesterday. Some time in the past few days, at about 26 weeks, their baby's heart stopped beating.
I don't have much additional information, and I certainly have no explanation for why these things happen. I am struggling to understand, as is everyone affected.
Her brother-in-law states that they have no specific needs at this time other than your thoughts and prayers. You can let me know if you would like additional updates as they become available.
This is not a happy thing to share, and I am not sure of the best way to go about it. However, I felt an obligation to share the information with those who have been reading for a while and especially considering that I had recently written about her story and her etsy shop. If you have placed orders, I would just ask that you are patient and understanding until the appropriate time and until next moves become clear. I will also share that Hillary had emailed me after I posted and indicated that she already had several orders. So for that, I thank you. Even though this did not unfold the way everyone had hoped and envisioned, you still offered support to her when asked, and that is an important gesture.
Hugs to all.
With gratitude,
J
Friends,
We received an email from Hillary's brother-in-law with sad news yesterday. Some time in the past few days, at about 26 weeks, their baby's heart stopped beating.
I don't have much additional information, and I certainly have no explanation for why these things happen. I am struggling to understand, as is everyone affected.
Her brother-in-law states that they have no specific needs at this time other than your thoughts and prayers. You can let me know if you would like additional updates as they become available.
This is not a happy thing to share, and I am not sure of the best way to go about it. However, I felt an obligation to share the information with those who have been reading for a while and especially considering that I had recently written about her story and her etsy shop. If you have placed orders, I would just ask that you are patient and understanding until the appropriate time and until next moves become clear. I will also share that Hillary had emailed me after I posted and indicated that she already had several orders. So for that, I thank you. Even though this did not unfold the way everyone had hoped and envisioned, you still offered support to her when asked, and that is an important gesture.
Hugs to all.
With gratitude,
J
27 Weeks
Sorry for the delay--I've been having trouble with Blogger. Not much to report, anyway.
How Far Along: 27 weeks with child. Some sources say the third trimester begins now, while others say it is 28 or 29 weeks. I am confused, so...that's all I know.
Size of Baby: head of cauliflower, rutabaga...same ol', same ol'. All we know for sure is that he's over 2 lbs already.
Maternity Clothes: Same as before, but some of the smaller (shorter) tank tops are getting too short.
Movement: Plenty to go around. I think his head is still up top and his feet are way down. He moves sideways sometimes, but seems to return to that position. He better flip soon, or we're going to have a talk.
Sleep: Some nights are better than others, but it's still generally fine.
What I miss: I'm starting to feel a little limited (physically), which you can probably imagine is not going over well.
Cravings: A turkey sandwich (with the leftover Thanksgiving turkey. But someone ATE IT ALL).
Other crazy symptoms: My hands and feet fall asleep much more easily. Thankfully, not all at once. I always think of baby Miller, who used to say "my foot is sparkly!" when it would happen to her. My feet are more likely to fall asleep when I am sitting at the computer, sometimes crosslegged. My hands fall asleep while I'm sleeping, which leads to lots of weird dead-arm wakeups.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Winner Winner!
Commenter #3 was randomly selected as the winner of the giveaway. Stephanie, congratulations on winning that--let us know what you do with your red burlap bubble wreath.
Thanks to those who read and especially to those who entered a comment. Hillary and I are grateful for your support.
If you need some retail therapy to drown your sorrow over not winning, I'm sure Hillary would be happy to provide some crafty solace for you: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BedRestCrafting
I wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving.
Friday, November 16, 2012
26-week Photo Shoot
This morning we went in for another ultrasound--a followup to this one 4 weeks ago. They just wanted to check the size of baby's stomach one more time.
Stomach looks fine, everything else looks good, and everything from heart rate to tippy toes was pronounced "perfectly normal." We are very grateful for that. It also sounds like they don't want to do another followup, so I think it's a while until the next (and possibly final) ultrasound.
Slightly less good news: he was in the "worst position possible" for pictures, so the party favors are limited once again. He's all balled up in my ribs, with his hands by his face. His feet are indeed down low, which confirms what I wrote yesterday about him kicking me deep in my soul. He's also face down (facing my back), which seems to be a pattern in our photo shoot sessions. So he is breech and upside down in every way possible, which is also the worst position possible for getting born, so I hope he flips eventually.
Stomach looks fine, everything else looks good, and everything from heart rate to tippy toes was pronounced "perfectly normal." We are very grateful for that. It also sounds like they don't want to do another followup, so I think it's a while until the next (and possibly final) ultrasound.
Slightly less good news: he was in the "worst position possible" for pictures, so the party favors are limited once again. He's all balled up in my ribs, with his hands by his face. His feet are indeed down low, which confirms what I wrote yesterday about him kicking me deep in my soul. He's also face down (facing my back), which seems to be a pattern in our photo shoot sessions. So he is breech and upside down in every way possible, which is also the worst position possible for getting born, so I hope he flips eventually.
26 weeks. Hand still by face.
Once again, we had an excellent sonographer. She was friendly, but quick, and explained everything she was looking at. She really liked his nose--she kept talking about how cute it was. I guess babies' noses look different? Obviously we think it's the best nose of all the baby noses.
Comparison shots:
Top: 22 weeks
Bottom: 26 weeks
Growth measurements are on target, and he's weighing in at about 2.1 pounds. We saw him waving around and also grabbing his toes. I have a regular checkup appointment next week, but this is just the phase where we kind of wait as he gets bigger, so I don't expect much to report.
Happy weekend from both of us and Baby A! As a reminder, please check out the post about Hillary's etsy store and enter to win her generous giveaway by leaving a comment on that post. You can enter until Saturday night, and a winner will be announced on Sunday.
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