We truly had a great time at the ultrasound appointment. The sonographer was lovely and kind (once she warmed up a little bit--I'm sure they see such a variation in experiences and emotions that they learn to sit back and read a situation before deciding to engage). I was actually worried that we were due for a less-friendly one, as our last one was also lovely. So I will start by saying that I am grateful for that. If you work in the health care industry and have contact with patients--or if you do anything remotely analogous--please know that these things matter. You may see dozens of patients each week, but to us, you are the only one. It becomes part of the memory forever.
Overall, we got all the information we needed from the scan, but it wasn't a perfect view. Baby was face down the entire time (so if I was lying on my back, he was facing my spine). You may insert your joke about uncooperative children here. Ultrasound is good enough to get images anyway when this is the case, but our images are not as clear as they would otherwise be because everything was having to travel through the baby's body to get the image--if that makes sense. For example, the image of the stomach had to be taken through the baby's spine, and so on. Below is the profile shot (we only came home with two still pics because of the fuzziness issue). It will have to do for now.
I will return for another ultrasound in three weeks, so maybe that will prove more fruitful from a photography standpoint.
For the record, the second pic is of the boy bits. I will refrain from posting baby's parts all over the interwebs, but just know that I have them. And I always will. Never underestimate a parent's power to embarrass.
Incidentally, that's one of the easiest shots to get, as you only need a view from the bottom up. So she was able to get this from my side and it didn't so much matter that baby was wrong-side up. And in case it wasn't clear, she labeled it BOY.
I would also like to add (from me and BA) that we were truly touched by all the messages we received throughout the day. I know that is an overused phrase, but I can't think of a better way to say it. We couldn't believe that so many people even remembered that the appointment was Friday (or maybe there are a lot more of you reading who are just lurkers...), let alone felt compelled to send a text or email our way. And this was before we even had definitive news. So a serious thanks to all of you for your thoughtfulness. On one hand, this is of course all new and special for us. But on the other hand, it happens every day. So to see people being excited on our behalf is a pretty cool thing. You're all cool folks, and we can honestly say that we feel your good vibes. Thank you for that. You're doing a great job.
Of course, once we DID have news, we also had a lot of questions: are we so excited (we are)? Is the family totally thrilled (they are)? A few people have also asked what it's like now that we know, so I thought I would record some of my current thoughts.
I can say with complete honesty that my initial reaction was pure excitement. Followed quickly by a lot of other things. I think if we'd been on tape, the replay would have a lot of us looking back and forth at each other, going, "a boy! Oh man...a boy? Wow. A boy....wow! What are we going to do? I can't believe it!" and so on. In a crazy loop of rapidly-cycling thoughts and feelings.
I would also like to share this, in the event that anyone else has had this experience in the past or might in the future: there is definitely a period of surprising emotionality. I was not really prepared for this. And of course, we're totally excited, so it has nothing to do with outcomes or expectations. But--in an effort to prevent a bizarre reaction during the scan itself--I had mentally walked myself through a boy scenario as well as a girl scenario. I had pictured it both ways. I have imagination shopped for both. I planned two nurseries. I don't know if this was smart or not, but it's what I did in an effort to keep myself from being totally knocked off center if the announcement was not what I expected. And I don't really know what I expected, if anything.
I think that a part of the effect comes from the fact that it's a binary scenario. You know that something is definitely going to be this OR this. And when it's not one, it's definitely the other. So it's not so much that it is a boy or isn't a girl, but more that I think you have to consciously take some time to say goodbye to the scenario that it's not going to be. I would like to think that that's normal and natural, and I hope that if people choose to see it that way, they won't interpret their emotionality as some sort of latent disappointment that it wasn't the outcome they'd "hoped" it would be. Because then you feel guilty, and that's no good. Part of the complexity of human experience (and pregnancy in particular) is learning to acknowledge that we can simultaneously hold very complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions. So you can be extremely excited for the true scenario, and your mind instantly creates all the hopes and dreams and glimpses into the future that that means. But you also can take some time to process the instant disappearance of the alternate scenario, and all that that meant.
So maybe I'm thinking too much about it, but several people have asked, so I thought I'd share my current processing. I guess I would say that the bottom line is that I was surprised at how emotional my reaction has been. This is probably in part because I've made it this far through the pregnancy without a lot of the mood-swing freakouts that all the books warn about. I also acknowledge that it was an emotional week on several levels--some having to do with our experience directly, and some not. It also makes it really, really real in a way that perhaps I had not previously reached. So that's my experience. I don't know if it was or will be yours, but there you go.
We are so excited to meet baby boy, and to introduce him to all you wonderful people. It also seems like baby boys are all the rage right now, so we're happy to be in such wonderful company and to have (I hope) insta-friends for Baby A. We also already have a couple offers for arranged marriages from friends who are having girls. I think this will make life a lot easier in the future and is definitely the way to go.
Effective immediately, I will be accepting gifts of wine. You know where to send it.
1 comment:
In addition to being so happy about the arrival of Baby A, I feel absolutely amazed that approximately 50% of our friends fancy themselves psychics.
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