Dressing for Two: Prologue

Up front: this is long, text-heavy, and relevant mostly to pregnant ladies. Feel free to skip.

Prologue: The Basics.

The intention of this post is to share a few things I have learned over the first half of this pregnancy in regards to finding clothes that fit well, are of acceptable quality, and are comfortable. It requires a delicate dance between spending, restraint, and creativity: one doesn't want to waste money (if you're not already panicking about how you're going to pay for baby, snaps to you), but I don't believe that we should be resigned to looking frumpy or feeling less-than-good about ourselves simply because we're trying to grow new humans. It can be enough of a challenge to cope with a rapidly changing body (and rocky emotions on top of that), and I think we've come too far as women to throw up our hands and put aside everything we've worked for--feeling good, building a career, being taken seriously--just because.

Gone are the days when pregnant women were hidden from public view, or (maybe worse?) had only these options available:

is there even a person under there?

All that being said, I acknowledge that I can only speak from my own admittedly limited experience. So I will say up front that the information herein has been true for me, my body, this pregnancy, at the time of this writing and in the seasons in which I was pregnant*. So feel free to use or disregard any of it in accordance with your own experience. 

*I started needing some maternity clothes in September and am due at the end of February. So we are talking generally fall/winter here.

Furthermore, I think I should be transparent about my maternity-clothing philosophy (did we know we had these?). I cannot be all things to all people, and your philosophy may differ from mine. But I'll be straightforward, so at least we all know what we are working with.

• I am not an extreme couponer. Some people want or need to make it through pregnancy without spending any extraneous funds on maternity clothing, and choose--by philosophy or by necessity--to make do with what is at hand, what can be borrowed or shared, and so on. I greatly admire this, and do not intend to pass any judgment on the needs of others. I have some flexibility in how I choose to spend a portion of the budget, and for now, I can choose to spend it on clothes for me if I want. Now, this can easily get WAY out of control. I look for sales, use group-discount/daily-deal sites, and am very judicious. I am also careful not to over-buy, because return policies on maternity clothes are cruelly unforgiving. I will discuss these points in more depth later. But the bottom line I wish to communicate is that I will spend some money up front to buy what I think are the higher-quality options and basics that will last longer, because sometimes that's more economical in the long run. To sum up: I'll spend when I can, but save where I can. So the rest of my advice flows in part from that position. 
• I don't have a lot of borrowing options. I think I've mentioned this before, so it doesn't need to be belabored. This is partly because this is our first baby, the first in the family, and on the first wave of babies in our friend group. It's also partly because the friends who have had babies have done so in different seasons and with different body types than me (and/or they are still pregnant, so not loaning things out!). This just is what it is. But it also means that I am shopping with an eye to share: if I buy the "better" jeans or the more classic cut, they might still be usable for me next time, or my sister, or another friend. So it gives me a little bit of an incentive to shop with an "investment" eye. I'll let you know if maternity clothes actually last that long. 
• I'm not going to be a great resource for women whose jobs require very professional dress. I'm a PhD student at a research university, and I spend a good portion of my days in school settings from Pre-K to higher ed. I need to look pulled-together and appropriate, but I am not required to wear suits, for example. I'm no lady lawyer. My main challenge will be what to wear in settings when jeans (even "nice" ones) are not appropriate. I know I have some friends who could weigh in on the topic of more professional dress, if needed--we'll pull in some guest posts. The bottom line here is using some little tricks to look more dressed up than you really are. 

Ok. Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, I can get down to what I do best: telling other people what to do. Let the bossing begin. 

A guiding principle...so there's this sign at the dealer where we take our cars to be repaired: "Cheap saddles ain't good, and good saddles ain't cheap." I know they put this there to try and make you feel better about how much you are paying for car repairs. I'm on to you, sirs. Anyway, this is worth bearing in mind when it comes to maternity clothes, with some amendments. NO maternity clothes are cheap, but many maternity clothes are cheaply made. I realize this is not fair. If you want to organize a protest, let me know. It leads to the first tips. 

1. Look for what you need in the non-maternity section (or in your closet).

I know, I know...you didn't need me to tell you this obvious "tip." But it will be a tenet to which I refer, so just let it ride.

I think that marketers and manufacturers prey on pregnant women somewhat. This translates into an instant markup just because something has a "maternity" label. Because one should always have data: I was at Target yesterday, and the plain white (regular) Mossimo-brand tank tops were $9. The plain white maternity tanks (no side ruching, fancy fabric, or any such maternity-ness) were $12.99 each. That can add up to a decent chunk when you're talking about the basics. The regular tank tops are definitely long enough and stretchy enough to wear for a bit, plus there were many more size and color options. It seems that stores stock less inventory in the maternity stuff, and I'm finding that my size is often sold out in the stores.

See if you can find something that fits the bill in the regular section, or among what you already own. This is most applicable to things like long tank tops, tunics, sweater dresses, and other long items that are currently en vogue. Also, maxi dresses. You might need to repurpose them (e.g., wear a dress as a top later on), and you may not be able to wear them all the way til D-Day, but it can keep you from being taken advantage of unnecessarily. 

Try: Old Navy, Target, J. Crew, lululemon (I am referring to their maxi dresses and other items, as you're likely familiar with my pant rant). 

2. Check out maternity versions of regular (or designer) clothing lines.

The first reason is that they may be more tried and true for you. The second reason is a corollary of Tip 1: the "maternity store" labels are often where they put the lower-quality clothing (but it's still not cheap, per se). For example, I went to Pea in the Pod to buy my sexy full-panel jeans, but they are Seven for All Mankind. I knew these fit my body well from pre-pregnancy experience, I knew my size, and I believe they're well made. After I tried on my jeans, I perused the rest of the store. Most of the tops and dresses were less well made and were unfortunate poly blends. They were total Monets: from far away, the cuts and patterns looked cute and now, but up close, they were a big ol' mess (the fabric was low quality and I think they'd come apart before too long). If that works for you, or you have room in the budget/closet for some throwaway items, go for it. I spent more on the higher-quality items (designer maternity jeans) and skipped the cheaper, less-well-made items. Honestly, for even cheaper, you can get the Old Navy basics and just layer. Quality over quantity, I guess you could say.

And because I have to say it: this is a generalization. You can, of course, get good non-designer items--especially jeans. But you need to be a critical consumer. Check the fabric, seams, and so on. Seriously, some of the stuff I've seen should not be worn near open flame. 

Try: Citizens of Humanity, Seven, Michael Stars Maternity (all available at maternity stores but also elsewhere as well as online), Gap, ASOS.

3. Join Gilt. 

This should have maybe been tip 1, because it would probably be my first piece of advice to anyone. I didn't really take note before, but they have a maternity (or kids) sale almost every day. The best part about this is that it's a workaround to the Cheap Saddles axiom: you have access to the pricier-but-better maternity lines (think: Rosie Pope) at a serious discount. Sure, you need to check it often, and the sale times are limited, and the ship times are long, but I think it's well worth it. This is where I've gotten some basics but, more notably, some "special occasion"-type items. These are dresses and such that I may not wear as often, but I could justify them at the discount prices. I likely would not have paid full price for them, but because they're better quality, I might be able to pass them on to others. I think it's still worth it to have some fun items that still let you feel good about yourself, even if they're not everyday staples. I think this will be especially true for me as this pregnancy will span the winter holiday season.

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I don't really have a plan for this series, other than to continue it, so I'm declaring in advance that the organization might break down. Also, I would like for you all to feel free to join the conversation. Please weigh in if you have other advice or would like to do a guest post, and please also feel free to submit questions for me to address.

Later on, I hope to post some photos of actual outfits and break them down using these tips. You know, when I decide to wear pants again.